i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize