Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
