Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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