Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
