Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
