I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
