We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you didnt know i had herpes?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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