I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
