It's like a parade of train wrecks.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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