she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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