just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You made out with two different species that night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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