Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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