I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
