dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
