I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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