just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
