This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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