Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
