well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
