Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
