I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
