the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
