Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize