we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
