Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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