So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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