By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
