at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
