Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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