she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You need a sexual gate keeper
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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