I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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