this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
