She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize