I'm so fucking centered right now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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