fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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