Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish you could order shots online.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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