so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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