Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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