Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
