i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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