nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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