Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
