Where are you?
In a non slutty way
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
