She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
