Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
