I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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