Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
