Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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