I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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