quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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