butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
