There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
