Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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