I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
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I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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