she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
