I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it's like iHOP with fire
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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